Alestera TV
by LightzMusic22
Summary: The Kingdom Hearts cast are struggling to fund Kingdom Hearts III and Kingdom Hearts X, so they decided to do some commercials to raise extra money. This is why the game commercials are cut scenes…
1. State Farm

_**Summary: The Kingdom Hearts cast are struggling to fund Kingdom Hearts III and Kingdom Hearts X, so they decided to do some commercials to raise extra money. This is why the game commercials are cut scenes…**_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts or the characters. This story is inspired by **__**Do a Barrel Roll's **__**The Vanitas Ads.**__** This, my friend, is just a continuation of her discontinued story.**_

_**Alestera T.V.**_

_**State Farm**_

Sora and Kairi are standing on a platform, as they hug and look into each other's eyes. Suddenly, the platform splits, as they grab hands. Sora is the first to speak

"Remember what you said? I'll always be with you, too!" He yelled, as they continued to drift apart.

"I know you will!" She pleaded, her eyes widening as her hand started to slip.

"And always remember one thing!" He begged, as there about to let go.

"What?"

"When you need a good neighbor, State Farm is there!"

"… What?" Was all Kairi could say before they were separated.

_**Two Years Later…**_

Kairi was face to face with a red head, and she knew something bad was going to happen. As he went to grab her, suddenly, a sentence was flashing in her head.

'_When you need a good neighbor, State Farm is there…'_

"When you need a good neighbor, State Farm is there!" She yelled. Suddenly a dude with silver hair covering one eye and a book appeared, not saying a word. She decided to try something.

"…with a Chainsaw!" She yelled, as a chainsaw appeared in her hand.

"…and fire magic surrounding it!" Suddenly, the chainsaw was covered in flames. She grinned as she chased Axel in a comical silent movie theme.

_**No one can save you better than State Farm, call now.**_

Alestera groaned as she got up from the director's chair, her short black hair swaying as her green eyes glanced around the room.

"Cut!" She yelled, as the camera man, Cloud, stopped rolling. She turned towards the cast and started doing comical hand movements.

"Gah! Who wrote this awful script?!" She yelled. In the background, Vanitas shrunk in his chair.

_**Yay! I finally posted this! This is a side story for when I'm jammed, so expect updates a lot! Lol. Thanks! Also, I'm taking idea's for the next chapter! Alestera's outfit is on my profile!**_

_**Cheese, Unicorns, Milk, Chocolate, Review!**_


	2. Snicker Bar

_**Summary: The Kingdom Hearts cast are struggling to fund Kingdom Hearts III and Kingdom Hearts X, so they decided to do some commercials to raise extra money. This is why the game commercials are cut scenes…**_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts or the characters. This story is inspired by **__**Do a Barrel Roll's **__**The Vanitas Ads.**__** This, my friend, is just a continuation of her discontinued story.**_

_**Alestera T.V.**_

_Snickers_ Axel was sitting down on the sofa, snoring away, when a giant gorilla ripped off the ceiling to the building. He comically screamed as he jumped from the couch. He ran towards the cabinet in the kitchen, where the gorilla pursued him. He dug into it, when he happened grabbed a Snicker bar and fed it to the gorilla. Suddenly, the gorilla turned into a person we knew.

"You ok, Xion?" He asked. She simply nodded, chewing it.

**_Cut!_ _This is shorter then the other one, but I hope you enjoy!_ _Soda, Sora, Dora, Explora, Reviewa! O.o.o.O_**


	3. Geico

_**Summary: The Kingdom Hearts cast are struggling to fund Kingdom Hearts III and Kingdom Hearts X, so they decided to do some commercials to raise extra money. This is why the game commercials are cut scenes…**_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts or the characters. This story is inspired by **__**Do a Barrel Roll's **__**The Vanitas Ads.**__** This, my friend, is just a continuation of her discontinued story.**_

_**Alestera T.V.**_

Sora was in the mini-van with Riku and Kairi, talking about going to a new restaurant.

"I'm telling you, Riku! I heard Guako Taco has awesome burritos!" He reassured, his eyes glowing like stars at the idea. All Riku did was look repulsed as he mock gagged.

"One; no, just, no. And two; why would they call it Guako Taco when they sell _burritos?_" He inquired, annoyed at the fact that his friend is still asking to go. Kairi was just giggling, as the car hit another bump.

"Ow! Did you have to hit another bump?!" Kairi exclaimed, fixing her pink beanie, which fell off when they hit the 'bump' on the road. Sora was laughing like a hyena at the accident, as Kairi stuffed a doughnut in his mouth to shut him up. Riku stopped the car, which they didn't notice, continuing their bickering, as jumped out.

"What's up Riku?" Sora questioned with curiosity. He opened the car door, gasping as he went wide eyed. There, was the Geico gecko, on the floor. He sent a glance at Riku, unsure what to do.

"What's taking you so long?" The red-haired girl wondered out loud as she walked out of the van also. She paled, if that's even possible.

"Did you hit this poor gecko! Huh? Huh!" She interrogated. As they kept bickering, Sora strolled back into the van, and came out with a paper.

"Guys, we have Geico. We're covered." Sora declared. They all grinned, as they moved the lizard and hopped into the van again, driving towards Guako Taco, Riku's head theoretically hung in defeat.

_**I don't have Geico, so I'm not sure what they do, but its insurance so I came up with this! RxR and thanks!**_


	4. RGHS Part 1

**_Summary: _****_The Kingdom Hearts cast are struggling to fund Kingdom Hearts III and Kingdom Hearts X, so they decided to do some commercials to raise extra money. This is why the game commercials are cut scenes…_**

** _Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts or the characters. This story is inspired by_****_Do a Barrel Roll's_****_The Vanitas Ads._****_This, my friend, is just a continuation of her discontinued story._**

**_Alestera T.V._**

**_Radiant Garden High School_**

Roxas is walking down the hallway, everyone staring at him like a freak as he stalks towards his locker. He opens it, taking out a sketch book as he dumps his books away. His pyromaniac friend runs up to him, smiling. He puts his books down, signing to the deaf blonde staring at him with interest.

'Play along with me.' He signs. Roxas simply nodded, replying.

'Whatever, Axel.' Suddenly, a bunch of teachers run down the hallways looking for the student who blew up the science lab.

* * *

Cloud is sitting in a room, petting a cat as his dilated eyes scanned the student in front of him. Said student was Vanitas Hikaru, a kid with serious, serious problems.

"So you come to me, in your time of need, but you bring nothing to offer." The student counselor says to the student.

"Sometimes, I have dreams of cats dying…" The raven haired teen says, petting the imaginary dog next to him.

"I can hear the crying of the bunnies as they get slaughtered by their natural enemy, the unicorn…" Cloud simply nods, rubbing his chin and cat simultaneously, waiting for Vanitas to continue.

* * *

Sora is running down the hallways with Yuffie, both being the weird people they are.

"Baby that kung-fu fighting!" Sora screams with a fist pump. Yuffie continues.

"That kick was fast as lighting!" Yuffie sung, as the students started staring now.

"It might be a little bit frightening!" They then sang together.

"But its, kung-fu fighting!"

* * *

_Will Axel get busted for blowing up the school science lab?_

_Will we figure out how Roxas became deaf?_

_Will Vanitas figure out his issues with a student counselor who has problems?_

_Will Sora and Yuffie ever become semi-normal?_

_Will we figure out why I am asking all these questions?_

_Find out on the next RGHS!_

** _-Cut!-_**

Alester gets up from her chair, glaring at the cast.

"This is the most sad commercial I have ever seen. Can you at least TRY, and write some good commercials so we can make Kingdom Hearts X and III?" The cast downcasted their eyes, embarrassed to be yelled at by someone who is way younger then them.

** _-V-E-N-V-A-N-A-N-D-T-E-R-V-E-N-F-O-R-E-V-E-R-L-I-N -E-B-R-E-A-K-_**

** _Alright, I tried doing Allstate, but it didn't turn out right, so here is SOMETHING for now. :)_**


	5. Another State Farm Story

_**Summary:**__**The Kingdom Hearts cast are struggling to fund Kingdom Hearts III and Kingdom Hearts X, so they decided to do some commercials to raise extra money. This is why the game commercials are cut scenes…**_

_ **Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts or the characters. This story is inspired by Do a Barrel Roll's The Vanitas Ads. This, my friend, is just a continuation of her discontinued story.**_

_ **Review section will now be on the bottom of every chapter, thanks!**_

_**Alestera T.V.**_

_**Another State Farm Story…**_

"Wait, you can do that? Really?" Sora said into the phone. He grinned, walking over to the closest couch and sitting down. He didn't want to be too loud, since his wife was sleeping upstairs

"Yeah, I would love that…" Suddenly, a door was slammed as a red head walked over to him.

"Who are you talking to?" Sora jumped at the voice, spinning around to see his wife, Kairi, glaring at him. He glanced at the time, gulping. 3:00 it read. He was dead.

"Who are you talking to at 3:00 in the morning?" She interrogated. He quirked an eyebrow.

"Riku from State Farm…" He firmly stated. She scoffed, snatching the phone from her husbands hand.

"Riku? Why are you working at State Farm?" She yelled into the phone. Sora mentally sweat dropped, blinking a few times.

"The economies bad, I need a little extra munny. Turns out, being a Keyblade Master doesn't pay my mortgage." He repeated bluntly. She pointed a finger at him, quieting him.

"What are you wearing, Riku from State Farm?" She inquired, sarcasm dripping from her voice. There was a shuffle through the phone.

"Khakis…"

"He sounds hideous!" She spat at Sora. He just chuckled.

"Well, she's a he, so…" Kairi gasped, hanging up.

"So your gay now!" She screeched, throwing the phone at him.

"What! No! I-"

"Wait! You married me and like Riku... YOUR A HOMO!" She exclaimed. Axel then teleported there.

"Hobo! Where!" Sora and Kairi sweat dropped, as he disappeared. Suddenly, Sora got an idea.

"Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there!" Suddenly, the same dude like before appeared, this time wearing a name-tag. It read, _'Ienzo, formerly known as Zexion, the unappreciated-'_

"I don't hate time to read that! In the State Farm office!"

**Pewf!** And with that, they were gone... leaving a ticked off Kairi with a flaming chainsaw from before, and all of Sora's possessions...

"And my stuff!" Sora's voice echoed, as everything that was his disappeared.

"Darn it!"

**Cut!**

Alestera got up from her chair, clapping.

"Wow, finally, we have some decent acting! Who wrote this?" She questioned on set. Vanitas, once again, shrunk in his chair, not wanting to be figured out.

_**Review Corner:**_

Vote Celtice and Mondale 2016- Thanks for the review! You reviewed several of my stories, and its awesome! I'm making a section at the end of every chapter a question randomly, to get to know my reviewers! Also, Kingdom Hearts X is a MMORPG there making for Kingdom Hearts. Go on KH13 dot com for more info.

Update: I edited this to be more funny and different. Thanks!

_**Question of the Day!**_

_**What's your favorite fandom?**_

_**I think its obvious that my favorite fandom is Kingdom Hearts. What about you?**_


End file.
